Get super smashed with Super Smashed Bros

Posted 16 Feb 2015 by Squid, last modified 13 Sep 2016

Just a short post here, I wanted to share these two images I found. They’ve been doing the rounds in social media for quite some time, so I haven’t managed to find their source, unfortunately. These images are of the Super Smashed Bros. If you couldn’t tell from the title (maybe you’re brain dead or something), it’s all about the characters from Super Smash Bros getting completely wasted.

Boxart of Super Smashed Bros on the N64.

Actual in-game footage.

About the Super Smashed Bros images

The first image is footage from SSB on the Nintendo 64, where Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Fox, Pikachu and Mario collapsed and wasted on the floor. Well, Yoshi is still chugging down a bottle, so it’s safe to assume that he is going to succumb to his light-headedness shortly. I can only assume that the positions that the characters are in are from when they get hit to the ground, and then shooped a little bit.

The second image is an alternative boxart of the game, now this one is a whole lot more fun-looking. The characters are either getting high, drunk, puking or just completely passed out on the floor. Personally I prefer this picture since it has a whole lot more going on in it, I’ll just let you have some fun looking at it rather than going into great detail about it.

Bonus: Super Smashed the drinking game

Transcript

Narrator: Warning: Drinking too much can make ugly people appear attractive and may cause premature death. Please drink responsibly.

Welcome fellow alcoholics to another episode of Drinking Games for Gamers!

Today’s drinking game is a well-established warp-zone classic that we like to call ‘super smashed’.

Ingredients:

1. Parrot Bay Coconut Rum. Why coconut rum? Because it’s F***ing delicious.

2. A copy of Smash Bros Brawl for the Wii. Pretty much the only game we’ve had in our wii for the last year.

How to play:

Super Smashed is all about the Smash Ball. So for full effect make sure you crank the item drop rate to high.

Dr Who: What? only noobs play with items!

Narrator: Shut up, purist, you’re not even the doctor anymore.

Dr. Who: That was a low blow!

The rules for Super Smashed are very simple. If you kill another player with your final smash, or a player dies while the final smash is in effect, they must take a shot of delicious coconut rum. However, if you die while holding the smash ball or are unable to kill anyone with your final smash, then you need to take a shot of that sweet sweet coconut rum.

And remember, all shots must be taken before you can keep playing so pur fast.

Strategy:

An important part of Super Smashed is deciding which character to choose. You should choose a character that has a good final smash. Mario and Jigglypuff are not recommended. Another good strategy is to pick a ranged character like Lucas or Snake who can easily snipe the smash ball from afar. Or you can be like Schroeder and pick Sonic and f***ing rape. God I hate that move!

Punishment:

There really is no punishment with Super Smashed, you get to play Smash Bros and drink coconut rum, you should be thanking us! So if you lose, just sit back and keep drinking!

And that’s Super Smashed! It great for all kinds of parties like weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, funerals so keep downing that immaculate coconut rum and we’ll see you next time on Drinking Games for Gamers.

Ah I said the safe word!

Here’s a fun little bonus game for all of you out there. Just watch the video, and be sure to drink responsibly!